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Daily Archives: October 1, 2011

Breathing Eh

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So there I was, sitting, minding my own business.  Well really I was chilling upside down trying to make room by kicking those pesky rib things out of my way, but that’s beside the point.   The point is that I was rudely thrust out of my warm but cramped quarters into this crazy cold place so you know what I did?  I protested.  I showed them, I just held my breath until I turned blue.  But those heathens, they forced me into breathing, shoving a tube down my throat putting me on a vibrating table and doping me up.  That’s right kids, they may say “hugs not drugs” but I’m pretty sure they don’t mean it.  I didn’t get a hug for days but I got plenty of drugs.  They hooked me up with opiates and dopamine and all kinds of crazy stuff.  Makes a person wonder why someone would ever want to take those nasty things.  So you know this whole outside world thing is cool, but breathing meh who really needs it?  Apparently there’s no saying no to these people.  So here I am – no longer blue.

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